Remember when I wrote my first ever post on this blog and claimed it was likely to be the worst post I ever wrote? Well prepare to be proven wrong…
Today I complained to a friend about my current inability to write anything decent whatsoever. I currently have a list of projects I could and should be working on, yet despite my best efforts the last week or so I’ve suffered from a deplorable lack of creativity, also known as the dreaded Writer’s Block. (Yes, I’m calling myself a writer, deal with it)
Here’s my to-do list, all of which is presently being ignored
- Begin third and final installation of St Victoria’s (critically acclaimed by my sister, my cat and a handful of loyal friends who probably just said it was good to get me to shut up about it)
- Continue working on biopic screenplay (more on that in the future) I’ve written roughly 45 minutes worth.
- Research information on a mini-series, access transcripts and begin planning
- Continue writing several short stories in order to complete the book of short stories that only I care about
- Write a decent blog post…
Like I said, all are being ignored.
“Don’t worry about it,” my friend – who was most likely at his wits end – said “it’s just writer’s block, you’ll think of what to write sooner or later” He’s wrong of course (but he’s a nice guy so I did an Elsa and let it go) because it was at that moment that I realised it wasn’t writer’s block I was suffering from, it was something much, much worse.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, writer’s block is:
“The condition of being unable to think of what to write or how to proceed with writing.”
Only, I know exactly what it is I want to write – believe me, I have so many ideas – and I know exactly how I’m going to proceed with the writing. Here’s the proof
- For my third and final installation of St Victoria’s I’m opening with my lead character Rosetta lamenting the recent turn of events in her life to her on/off BFF Ronald. The opening paragraph will be about tea because she’s a neurotic, paranoid and he’s not great with the advice and the best he can do is offer her a brew – sorted.
- For my biopic I’m about to introduce the protagonist’s future husband who à la Knight in Shining Armour ‘saves’ her from a run in with a not so friendly sailor – sorted.
- My research involves reading transcripts all of which I have already sourced and downloaded – sorted.
- My latest short story is set in Rome and I know exactly how it begins; late afternoon in a typical Roman cafe – sorted.
- And the blog post…well, I suppose it’s this
So it’s tragically not writer’s block I’m suffering from but what I like to call Writer’s Preference for Procrastination (or WPP for all you scientists). I had a day off work today and I spent it watching La La Land win and then lose Best Picture at the Oscars, talking about carpet bags with my sister, trying to take a decent photo of my coffee for an artsy Instagram (I failed), making a new ‘writing’ playlist only to ignore it and shuffle all my music anyway and moaning to my friend.
Nightmare. And a classic case of WPP. After reflecting on all of this I turned back to my mate and explained to him why I thought his diagnosis was wrong.
“Oh right,” he said (now officially bored of my moaning) “well, you could always blog about it.”
And thus my intervention begins.