I’ve decided to do something new. Let’s rewind 20 years and rank all the UK Chart No 1s of 2005. Why? To (mis)quote Billie Piper, because I want to.

Some rules. Firstly, I’m including songs that were released in 2005 only (i.e. no 2004 releases that cross over from December into January). Secondly, we’re doing the UK charts only – but I will take a peek some of the hits from across the pond at the end of the rankings. Thirdly, I’m going to try and separate the art from the artist as much as I can…this was an era. Fourthly, I will listen to each track before putting my final list together – who knows, some may have gotten better with age, or worse.

Meanwhile, the number of weeks the song was at the top of the charts will be placed in brackets. I’m not linking to anything, that’s what Google is for.

That’s it, let’s do it.

28. JCB – Nizlopi (1)

There were 28 number 1 singles in the UK in 2005 and by far the absolute worst is JCB (sales would beg to differ). Hell, I HATED this song. I still do. Give me any other song on this list any day. Let’s move swiftly on.

27. Against All Odds – Steve Brookstein (1)

Remember Steve, the first X Factor winner? Didn’t think so. This is a typical ‘X Factor’ cover of a Phil Collins hit that was schmaltzy enough ballad to begin with. Blah. 

26. Goodies – Ciara feat. Petey Pablo (1)

Maybe I’m getting old, but the ongoing whistle in this song makes my ears bleed. Seriously this was No 1? Mid at best.

25. Lyla – Oasis (1)

I feel like Oasis were just riding their popularity with this No 1. Lyla is nothing special, kind of just noise really.

24-22. Jailhouse Rock, One Night, It’s Now or Never – Elvis Presley (3)

Okay, so I’m cheating here. RCA reissued a bunch of Elvis tracks to commemorate what would have been the King’s 70th birthday. I’ve bunched them all together (each spent one week at the top) and will judge them as one. It’s hard to fairly judge reissues as it is, let alone three of them. Here’s to the King. 

21. I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor – Arctic Monkeys (1)

I was never into the Arctic Monkeys but I appreciate that other people were. I gave this song another listen as part of my ‘research’ for this list and honestly…I still don’t get the hype.

20. Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own – U2 (1)

The chorus is super memorable, frankly it’s the only part of the song I do remember. To be honest, I thought it was one of their 80s tracks, it’s all a bit meh.

19. Over and Over – Nelly feat. Tim McGraw (1)

Such a weird pairing. There’s not much else to say about this. 

18. Stickwitu – Pussycat Dolls (2)

Or Nicole Scherzinger and the Pussycat Dolls as they should have been called. They disliked spelling, I can overlook it on some tracks (see later in the list) but Stickwitu is just too egregious. The song however, is good.

17. Like Toy Soldiers – Eminem (1)

Sampling 80s tune Toy Soliders by Martika, this Eminem track is about the feuds between various rappers at the time, something they take very seriously. It’s catchy.

16. You Raise Me Up – Westlife (2)

Westlife were always corny but in 2005 they took it to the max by covering a number of emotional and dramatic ballads like this one…here’s something that will shock you: THEY WERE IN THEIR MID 20s!!!

15. Get Right – J-Lo (1)

The oh-oh-ohs in this are iconic. Enough said. 

14. Crazy Frog – Axel F (4)

It feels disrespectful to put this irritant above Elvis Presley but we’re talking about 2005 and there was no 2005 without Crazy Frog. 

13. I’ll Be OK – McFly (1)

My McFly bias is showing a little because I’ll Be OK is absolutely NOT as iconic as Jailhouse Rock. But it’s a fun pop song that probably had no business hitting No 1…but it did, so there. 

12. Dare – Gorillaz (1)

Dare was the follow up to Gorillaz’s Feel Good Inc which only made No 2. Personally I think it should have been the other way around but nonetheless, Dare is still a jam. 

11. The Importance of Being Idle – Oasis (1)

One of Oasis’ best songs in my opinion. Highly underrated and miles better than Lyla. The music video featuring Rhys Ifans is a vibe too.

10. All About You – McFly (1)

A wedding staple if there ever was one. McFly sing this song to death but it remains a great pop track and was a Comic Relief single so it gets some bonus points. 

9. Lonely – Akon (2)

This is such a dumb song. But don’t pretend like you didn’t sing the high pitched part at every given occassion.

8. Ghetto Gospel – 2Pac feat. Elton John (3)

So Eminem remixed Tupac’s Ghetto Gospel with Elton John’s Indian Sunset to create this epic (and maybe now forgotten) song – a genius move from Eminem.

7. (Is This the Way to) Amarillo – Tony Christie feat. Peter Kay (7)

Bloody hell did we go nuts for this in 2005, the biggest selling single of the year. No lie, Amarillo is a decent old school track from Tony Christie and originally peaked at No 18 in 1971. But let’s face it, what we all remember is the music video: Peter Kay miming along to the song with a bunch of celebs joining him for the ride. This entertained the nation! To be fair it was Comic Relief so again, bonus points. It should actually receive a hoard of minus points for featuring the horror that is Jimmy Saville in the music video but let’s try not to think about that and instead focus on the legends that also featured like Sooty and Sweep, Queen (the band, not HRH) and of course, the iconic moment where the late Ronnie Corbett fell off the treadmill.

6. You’re Beautiful – James Blunt (5)

Another song we went gaga for. James Blunt earned a reputation for whiney, watery music and You’re Beautiful sort of fits both those descriptors…but it’s also a great karaoke song so…

5. Don’t Cha – Pussycat Dolls feat. Busta Rhymes (3)

I’ve surprised myself by how high this has placed but it was the launch of the Pussycat Dolls. Don’t Cha was a massive hit and one that resulted in nobody ever pronouncing it ‘don’t you’ again. 

4. Dakota – Stereophonics (1)

Dakota is one of the ‘Phonics’ best songs. There’s something so nostalgic about that guitar line at the start and the bombastic chorus. Still holds up today.

3. That’s My Goal – Shayne Ward (4)

The second X Factor winner (and my favourite, sue me) That’s My Goal was/is the best X Factor winner’s song as far as I’m concerned and I’ll make no apologies for it. Best of all, we got to experience the Ablisa version at the 2010 X Factor auditions – watch it, you’ll thank me. 

2. Hung Up – Madonna (3)

So realistically this should rank number 1 – it’s Madonna, it’s a dance number, it features ABBA! It really is an amazing tune and one that stands the test of time but…

1. Push the Button – Sugababes (3)

…I’m a pop girly, of course Sugababes was going to top the list. Push the Button is ICONIC and one of the best singles from any UK girl group. The music video was also a hoot. Absolutely deserves to be the Best No 1 Single of 2005.

Second the Best

For all the great (and not so great) No 1s, spare a thought for some of the iconic No 2s. Daniel Powter’s Bad Day felt like a No 1 because it was everywhere and remains his only hit to this day. Show some love for Charlotte Church whose Crazy Chick (a banger) would almost certainly have reached No 1 had Girls Aloud released it. And as previously mentioned, Feel Good Inc was the better Gorillaz single of 2005 but was pipped to the post by Akon.

Across the Pond

Over in the Land of the Free, Mariah Carey’s We Belong Together managed 14 weeks at No 1. In the UK she peaked at No 2 with the likes of James Blunt and 2Pac keeping her from taking top position. Honestly, I thought it was a bit overrated anyway.

The Hit that Got Away

There are, of course, some mega songs that failed to even take silver. Kelly Clarkson’s powerhouse hit Since U Been Gone only made it to No 5 and Gwen Stefani’s absolutely iconic Hollaback Girl only managed No 8 – bananas.