Okay, we’re going there, we’re doing Westlife – one of the cheesiest but equally most iconic boybands to dominate the UK charts in the 2000s. In many ways, Westlife epitomise boybands of the 00s – a group of pretty Irish guys featuring two lead singers backed by surplus (said with love, of course) and managed by Louis Walsh. Who was the better singer, Mark or Shane? (…Mark?), were they better before or after Brian left? (after) who was the heartthrob? (Nicky, duh) and what was the point of Kian? (we’ll never know).

Either you loved them or your mother did, and even those who claimed not to like them will definitely find at least one track here that they secretly sing along to.

They released a LOT of music and racked up enough No 1s to rank just those but a few of their more iconic hits missed out of top place, so instead, we’re ranking their all of their singles to reach the UK Top 10. I’m not including tracks where they’re a featured artist (so no Against All Odds with Mariah or Everybody Hurts with ‘Help for Haiti’ aka every UK singer in 2010, sorry.) So, without further ado, grab a bar stool, smoulder at the camera and be prepared to stand for the key change.

Let’s go…

Queen of my Heart (2001)

Starting with the worst of the worst is Queen of my Heart. This got to No 1 and honestly, it’s a garbage song. Led by Brian (hmm) it’s like a slow dirge and I honestly can’t understand why anyone bought it. It also has this kind of…Scottish flavour to it, sort of resembling a terrible remake of Mull of Kintyre. Skip this one and pretend it doesn’t exist.

Tonight/Miss You Nights (2003)

A double A-side that hit the top of the charts. Which means we get two bad songs for the price of one. Let’s start with Tonight which I didn’t remember from the title and upon listening, still don’t remember. Probably for the best – Shane and Brian seem to be competing with each other for best Bryan Adams impression (only losers here, I’m afraid) and there’s an unneeded guitar solo that just…is so not Westlife that it made me laugh. I can afford it one small bonus point for the music video because the guys clearly thought they were on their promotion break when it was filmed: Mark is blonde, Nicky has a mullet and Shane and Kian both went to the same barber who gave them weirdly short fringes. Miss You Nights might even be worse because it’s just so bland that it doesn’t even register as a song to my ears, it’s just noise. Not particularly offensive noise, but noise nonetheless.

The Rose (2006)

In 2006 Westlife released their second ‘themed’ album (they previously released a Rat Pack themed album Allow Us to be Frank which was an odder choice and a little out of their wheelhouse, but this was a lowkey fun album that was certainly a lot more interesting than The Love Album). The theme? Love songs. An odd choice given that this was surely the unofficial theme of all their previous albums. Ironically, The Rose was the only song they bothered to release and – disappointingly – it went to the top of the charts. Disappointing because it is so goddamn boring. The superior version will always be the Family Guy one.

If I Let You Go (1999)

Another UK and Ireland No 1. Until the chorus kicked in I was certain I’d never heard this track before so it’s not exactly super memorable. The chorus sounds oddly slow which is when I realised it sounds like a boring version of another Westlife song (I Lay My Love on You) which interestingly, was not released in the UK or Ireland – surely because of how similar it is to If I Let You Go. Added fun/horror bonus is that they recorded a Spanish version of the track En Ti Deje Mi Amor which is honestly hideous (and therefore fabulous). Back to If I Let You Go – it’s a poor man’s I Lay My Love on You.

I Have a Dream/Seasons in the Sun (1999)

Another double A-side No1 (Christmas No 1 in fact) and deciding which is the worse track is literally torture. I Have a Dream is possibly ABBA’s worst single but at least they sang it well and it had that quintessential ABBA vibe to it. This is just…confusingly painful. Like, what’s happening here? At one point they’re all singing over each other, add in an icky children’s choir and you’re just asking me to hate it. Meanwhile Seasons in the Sun (not even a good song to begin with) is just corny, vomit-inducing slop. What’s worse there is they tried to make Kian happen by giving him the opening verse…just…no. 

Unbreakable (2002)

If YouTube video comments are anything to go by, this is a much-loved Westlife song. But I’m calling bull on YouTube video comments – for one thing, I didn’t see a single comment about the absurdity of Nicky randomly shaving his head in the Queen of My Heart video so there’s clearly some kind of bias going on here. What’s more, this song is just a bit blah. The melody is forgettable, there’s barely any vocal variety and, considering it came out in 2002 as part of their first ‘Greatest Hits’ album, seems like a regression to the sappier stuff of their first album. Honestly, a skip for me.

Flying Without Wings (1999)

Lord is this overrated! I don’t hate this song but there’s only so much saccharine melodrama a girl can take and this one definitely crosses the line. It reached top of the charts and is the band’s fourth biggest selling single but surely that’s just down to the royalties it generates from being overused in all the sympathy vote montages during peak X Factor.

Uptown Girl (2001)

Okay so I like to always give Comic Relief songs a little leeway and this cover of Billy Joel’s classic hit is perfectly passable (let’s be really honest here, the original is no masterpiece is it?) – the bonus points come in for the music video which features the usual Comic Relief helping of famous faces and fun. In a loose parody of the original music video, the boys are working at a diner when a bunch of posh, Tory-coded chaps come in to belittle them and act like tits. Then enters Claudia Schiffer who ignores the posh boys in favour of Irish charm (even Brian, who spends most of the video acting like a goon.) It’s a number one hit with a fun video and it raised money for charity, what more do you want really?

When You Tell Me That You Love Me (2005)

A duet with Diana Ross of her 1991 hit that reached No 2 in the UK charts. This version – a typical love ballad duet schlock – also hit No 2, missing out on the top spot by only 171 copies. It certainly has Christmas number one written all over it but I’m not complaining because they were beaten by the much superior Shayne Ward classic That’s My Goal. I will say, there seems to be a bit of a punch missing from this song, it never really gets going.

Hey Whatever (2003)

Hey Whatever is such a middling song. It was the lead single from their fourth album Turnaround but seems like a poor choice really. I get the impression they were going for a rockier, edgier sound but how many rock songs have a dramatic key change as part of their final chorus? Ultimately, it’s all just a bit blah.

Obvious (2003)

The final song from fourth album Turnaround marks the end of Westlife as a five-piece. Brian was under the delusion that he could make more of a success of himself as a solo artist and ‘did a Robbie’. Obvious is a bit of a lacklustre way to bow out but it’s overall a decent, radio-friendly, inoffensive piece that is a lot better than some of their more successful tracks.

Swear It Again (1999)

Their first ever single hit No 1 in both the UK and the band’s native Ireland. It’s very classic Westlife, a dramatic love ballad. But admittedly it’s a bit plodding, so by the time we reach the final chorus it begins to drag. Still, I imagine it would be missed were it not included in a greatest hits setlist.

You Raise Me Up (2005)

Sigh. The most overplayed, overperformed and over-covered song of the 00s. At the time, it was a smash hit for Westlife and their version remains the most popular (if YouTube views are anything to go by) but with so many other artists covering it after them and it’s constant use on any kind of UK talent show (*cough* X-Factor and BGT ) any emotional impact the song might have had has now been lost. Still, this isn’t a bad version by any means it’s just been killed by over exposure.

My Love (2000)

The first single off their second album and they pick up where they left off (at the top of the charts). Similar to If I Let You Go, I didn’t know the song from the title or verses but of course, when the chorus hit I was basically singing along. My Love is decent track, cheesy but not too cheesy (although to be clear, we’re talking ‘not too cheesy’ by Westlife standards, which is to say: generally too cheesy). But forget the song – we have the added blessing of a snippet of terrible acting from the lads by virtue of the music video. Nicky and Mark just about get away with it, Brian storms off (the irony) and Kian justifies his place in the band with a God-awful line delivery which reinforces my theory that he is purely the band’s comic relief. Lovely.

Safe (2010)

I had totally forgotten this song. It’s odd because upon revisiting it, I now remember it being used a lot as a dramatic accompanying soundtrack to all kinds of television ‘moments’ (X Factor, BGT, the Masterchef semi-finals (probably)). It’s actually a solid song, maybe lacking a little outside of the chorus which is bombastic, dramatic and carries the emotional weight of the track. An underrated hit.

Home (2007)

Their lead single from their album Back Home is a Michael Bublé cover that I honestly prefer to the original. For a while Westlife seemed reduced to a covers band but to give them credit, they always did a decent job with said covers. The harmonies in this version of Home really stand out in the verses and the track gets a touch of classic Westlife magic with the dramatic key change and backing vocal chorus in the song’s finale.

Mandy (2003)

The big single and only No 1 from their fourth album, Turnaround, Mandy is a cover of the Barry Manilow classic. I’m no Barry Manilow fan and I usually like to give credit to originals…that said, Westlife’s version is just better. Taking an older standard and making it a boyband classic is no mean feat – is it cheesy? Duh. Is it one for the mums? Mais oui. Do I sing along and hold my imagined lighter in the air when it plays? Obviously.

Us Against the World (2008)

Darker, moodier, dramatic in a theatrical rather than cheesy way – this song only managed to reach No 8 which seems low to me. At this point in their career, Westlife seemed less interested in the bouncy pop of their Bop Bop Baby days but had (thankfully) moved away from cover after cover in favour of an original song. Mark really gets to showcase his vocals in this song and let’s face it; he was always the best singer of the group. Despite this – and oddly – the standout vocal moment is the little ‘us against the world’ that Nicky does at the beginning and end of the track – chills.

Fool Again (2000)

The final single from their debut album and they totally saved the best for last. Five from five number ones is impressive (although this – tragically – peaked at No 2 in Ireland) but aside from Swear It Again (ish) this is the only one that really stands the test of time. Classic boyband, classic Westlife – you can’t deny that this is just a good pop song. Bonus points for having a gorgeous music video set in Mexico City.

Bop Bop Baby (2002)

Justice for Bop Bop Baby which peaked at No 5 (but Queen of My Heart hit No 1!?!?!). Similar to World of Our Own (more on that later) they up the tempo a little and showcase Mark’s vocals more in the bridges. Lyrically however, this is atrocious. “Ooh da bop, bop, baby, please don’t let me go” is horrific, and in the second chorus, Brian (who would have been 22 or 23 at the time) sings about being ‘on the love train’ for ‘20 odd years’ which is just such an ick I almost feel sorry for him. This song has such a quintessential ‘sound’ (possibly the twangy guitar between choruses and verses) that I’ll be adding it to my sonically-themed playlist of tracks that evoke pure 2000-2002 (featuring Enrique’s Escape, Darius’ Colourblind and, oddly, Ariana Grande’s Warm). Finally, let’s hear it for the music video (apologies, a lot of their videos are too hilarious to not mention) – set in a historically confused time (half the costumes look Elizabethan, the other half Georgian but what’s a century or so between friends?) the boys are tasked with escaping a prison cell and rescuing a fair maiden from some generic ‘bad guy’. Nicky, Kian and (particularly) Mark rock the swashbuckling, musketeer vibe, whilst poor Brian just has to try and somehow sell his ridiculous lines and Shane sort of just looks like Shane in fancy dress. There’s sword fighting to the beat of the music (unintentional I’m sure, but hilarious) and Kian continues to rule as the comedy king by spending some time gently holding a pigeon. Underrated.

Amazing (2006)

The final single from their sixth album Face to Face is often overshadowed by You Raise Me Up but I’m sorry – this is a fantastic pop song. At this point they seemed to have veered away from the more ‘fun’ tracks of 2002, becoming more of a ‘man band’ (I swear, teenage me thought they were in their 40s at this point) but this feels fresher and a little younger, more akin to their stuff with Brian (eek). Some tight harmonies, a punchier ending (unlike their attempt at Christmas No 1 with Diana Ross) and a great middle eight. What’s fun about the post-Brian tracks is that Nicky and Kian finally get to sing. For example, Nicky has a grand total of one solo line in this song – Kian misses out entirely but still takes the comedy gold with the hideous haircut that he sported around this era. You can always count on Kian.

What Makes a Man (2000)

Low-key one of my favourite Westlife tracks. A super cheesy, dramatic love ballad (that I (sadly) can sing along to word-perfect). The dramatic middle-eight leading into the key change final chorus? Epic. This missed out on Christmas No 1 in both the UK and Ireland being beaten by Bob the Builder (ffs) and Eminem’s Stan (ok, fine) respectively. To add to my enjoyment of the song is the music video which deserves an essay of its own. All five of them, dressed in white shoes and shiny suits (remember shiny suits? They were like, ‘a thing’ in the early 00s) singing in what I suppose is meant to be a luxury house but sort of resembles a health clinic. More fun is how they arrive at the house/clinic – zooming down country roads in over-the-top sports cars, (Nicky got to arrive on a motorbike because swoon), and, if you’re Brian, a helicopter which seems a tad dramatic. Then they spend the video singing around the house/clinic – Mark is acting all cutesy, writing in his diary on a bed; Nicky is giving bedroom eyes to the camera; Shane is wandering around miming the majority of the song (obviously); Brian must have gotten his helicopter on the roof or something because he barely features; and Kian continues to bring the laughter as he sits on a chair, rolling two enormous glass balls around in his hand for absolutely no apparent reason. I love it.

What About Now (2009)

I toyed with putting this in the top spot but the fact that it is a cover (albeit a lesser known cover compared to the liked of Home and You Raise Me Up) means it comes in at No 2, reflecting its actual chart position. I love this song. I love the drama, I love the vocals, I love that it’s actually not that cheesy for a Westlife song. I loved their X Factor results show version (yes, I watched too much X Factor). And the little drum fill into the crescendo of the final chorus? Theatrical perfection, dahhhling. As good as this song is, there can only be one winner…

World of Our Own (2002)

Ok team, this is it, our number one spot. And I have no regrets – World of Our Own is a BANGER. Not really sure what else there is to say about it other than it is hands down one of the best Westlife songs out there. This track began the trend of Mark taking the bridge between verse and chorus (a great trend) and upping the tempo a little (mercifully, this single followed the dire Queen of My Heart). No Westlife concert would be complete without it (I imagine) and there’s something so quintessentially ‘Westlife’ about it that makes it an instant classic.